Counseling

INTRODUCTION
If you are reading this booklet you probably need support with experiences you find difficult, threatening or overwhelming. Many of us are struggling with the results of our experiences as women: experiences of violence, other people's expectations and all the work of caring for ourselves and others. We all develop survival skills, and sometimes we can benefit from talking to other women.
You are entitled to care and attention and acceptance of your unique experiences and ways of dealing with them. You know what is best for you.
It can be difficult to find out about all your options but this is important in order to make the best choice. This booklet has some basic information about counseling and your rights. At the back there is a list of places to ring to find a counselor or other support; we didn't have space to list all the people and groups available but the list will help you find them.
"It's O.K. to go to a counselor ...... some people see it as you're not coping when actually you're using it as a coping mechanism. "
COUNSELING
Some people may be embarrassed to attend therapy, believing they have failed in some way. However, this is not the case. Many people choose professional counseling and find they are able to make a huge success of their life. Just talking to someone confidentially who is not a friend or family member can make all the difference. Counseling provides a regular time for those in distress to explore their feelings and talk about their problems. A counselor should help you develop better ways of coping, allowing you to live the life you deserve.
 
COUNSELING APPROACHES
Psychological therapies generally fall into three categories. These are behavioral therapies, which focus on cognitions and behaviors, psychoanalytical and psychodynamic therapies, which focus on the unconscious relationship patterns that evolved from childhood, and humanistic therapies, which focus on looking at the 'here and now'. This is a generalization though and counseling usually overlaps some of these techniques. Some counselors or psychotherapists practice a form of 'integrative' counseling, which means they draw on and blend specific types of techniques. Other practitioners work in an 'eclectic' way, which means they take elements of several different models and combine them when working with clients.
FINDING A COUNSELOR
What Is Counseling?
The main aims of counseling are to help you:
• Feel more in charge of your life;
• Clarify situations and difficulties;
• Find solutions you haven't tried yet.
The role of the counselor is to:
• Make a safe space away from other demands;
• Focus on you and your needs;
• Give you time to explore your thoughts and feelings;
• Suggest different ways of behaving or thinking.
Your family and friends can also be very helpful but sometimes they impose their own needs on you. Sometimes they deny or avoid difficult issues they don't want to deal with.
Many women prefer to see a woman counselor, but some men can be helpful too. In this booklet we call counselors 'she' but we mean both women and men.
WHEN COUNSELING MIGHT HELP YOU
• when you feel stuck in a situation you can't seem to get out of by yourself
• when an issue is seriously affecting your day to day life
• when you can't make important decisions, don't know what to do next
• when you need to discuss an issue with someone to give you a new perspective.
ASKING FOR HELP
When you are constantly expected to cope with everything it can be difficult to ask for help for yourself. Everyone has to ask for help at some time and you deserve to be treated with respect and dignity at all times.
It is good to be clear about what you're asking for. If you don't want to give many personal details you can say something general like 'I need to talk to someone about some family problems'. You can ask for a private interview if there are other people around.
TALKING TO A STRANGER
Sometimes it is difficult to talk about personal things with someone you don't know. Some women find it easier than with friends or family because the counselor isn't involved and will keep it confidential.
You may worry that she'll find you silly or think that other people have more important problems. It's her job to know that what you're there for is important to you and to take that seriously.
It doesn't matter if you don't know what to say you can start anywhere and reveal yourself gradually. The counselor can help you by asking questions and you can choose whether or not to answer these.
"I have trouble finding a counselor that I feel comfortable with. I can't always understand what they're saying because my English isn't that good, but I don't want to see someone from my country because it is such a small community."
Many women desire counseling, but are restricted by cost. Prices change all the time so you need to check them yourself first.
LOW COST SERVICES
Local services may offer affordable counseling (this may be free, means tested or have a small fee attached). Many women find these services valuable because they are close to home, friendly and part of their own community.
A disadvantage with local services is that they often have limited choice, so it may be difficult to find someone who properly meets your needs. Although you have the right to ask to change counselors your options may be restricted.
Local services often have long waiting lists and you may have to use a variety of services and strategies to get the assistance you require. Some women put their names down on waiting lists, but join a self-help group in the meantime so they can talk about their experiences. Women visiting private counselors may go for a short time while they can afford it and attend support groups at other times. Some counselors facilitate support groups for women which they charge for. The prices vary, but it may be a cheaper option than private counseling.
 
PRIVATE COUNSELING WITH REBATES
Prices vary considerably for private counseling. Some counselors will negotiate fees for low-income women. Some expect you to pay for missed sessions.
Psychiatrists Psychiatrists' fees are rebate able through Medicare, under which you can get back 85% of the scheduled fee. Medicare will pay the full scheduled fee after you have paid a certain amount on any medical fees that year. However, many psychiatrists charge more than the scheduled fee which means you have to pay any extra. You are not automatically eligible for a Medicare rebate. To be eligible you have to get a referral to a psychiatrist from your doctor. The referral must state that you need treatment for a medical condition.
General practitioners some doctors offer a counseling service. Again they are rebate able under Medicare and as with psychiatrists this is 85% of the scheduled fee.
Psychologists It is possible to get some money rebated if you have extra or ancillary cover with a private health insurance company. This only applies to registered psychologists and the cost and amount of rebate varies between different insurance companies. Some insurance companies have restrictions on who you can see, insist that you have a referral from a doctor or insist that you see someone they recommend.
There are three main types of counseling or support. These are:
• Individual work with one counselor and either one client, a couple or some members of a family.
• Group work where a counselor leads or facilitates the group.
• Self-help groups where there is no leader. Members attend on an equal basis for mutual support.
A group called a support group may have a counselor as a leader or facilitator, or it may be a self-help group without a leader. Some self-help groups follow the 12 step program developed by Alcoholics Anonymous.
No one has found an approach to counseling that will work with everyone in every situation. Some will work better for you than others. You need to find a counselor with beliefs compatible with your own. Self-help groups usually have some common beliefs about the issue they share. The 12 step groups, for example, share common beliefs about the causes of addiction and the steps necessary for recovery.
No matter how much knowledge a counselor has, if she can't listen to you and understand you she won't be able to help you. In fact, some women believe that the personality of the counselor is more important than technical skill or training.
A counselor may have trained in a particular style of counseling but use other types as well. Very few of the training courses for counselors include training in cultural awareness or working with an interpreter. A counselor’s training may not have challenged her racism or sexism or prejudices about lesbians or women with mental illnesses.
Some counselors are trained to use the medical model and only look at what is happening within you, your body or your mind. They ignore things that are happening to you and the ways you're affected by other people. For example, you may be very stressed by your family situation in which you're being abused or not getting enough support. You may be told that 'it's just your nerves' and only be given pills to take. You may have been diagnosed as having a mental illness but find that it is treated as purely a physical problem when you also need to talk about traumatic experiences you've had. You need to ask each individual counselor about her work.
 
PEOPLE WHO OFFER COUNSELING
Counselors
People with many different backgrounds work as counselors. The name is not used to refer to any one type of training or qualification. There are many training courses in counseling skills.
Psychotherapists
Psychotherapists have a variety of qualifications. They have usually been in counseling or psychotherapy themselves and can work on personal change at a deeper level.
Community Health Nurses
They are qualified nurses who have completed extra training in community health which includes some counseling skills.
Family Therapists
They have a variety of qualifications. Members of the Victorian Association of Family Therapists (VAFT) have at least two years additional training in working with individuals and families.
Feminist Counselors
There is no specific qualification in Victoria in feminist counseling. They have an awareness of the specific experiences and pressures on women. You need to ask each individual what she means by feminist counseling.
 
Financial Counselors
They are trained to help sort out finances and renegotiate contracts and other financial obligations.
Social Workers
Social workers have a degree in social work. Some of them do counseling and they use a variety of approaches.
Psychiatrists
They are medical doctors with extra training in psychiatry. They deal with the diagnosis and treatment of mental illness. They can prescribe drugs. Some of them use other approaches as well.
Psychologists
They have university qualifications in psychology. Some with extra training are registered psychologists. They counsel people in a variety of settings using a range of techniques. They do not prescribe drugs.
Psychoanalysts
They can train in several ways which are regulated by the Psychoanalysts Association. Some are medical doctors. They use a specific process to explore buried feelings from childhood. It can involve several sessions per week and take many years.
'Support groups are good later on, particularly with incest the secrecy means that it is incredibly threatening to start doing that in a group it's very exposing. Later on it's great and what you get is understanding and not feeling isolated and validating your own experiences.'
'I was on medication prescribed by a psychiatrist, but another doctor said that it was bad for me and took me off it.'
It can be difficult to interview a counselor when you're feeling nervous and you need to find the right person. You may want to think of some questions to ask over the phone to see if it's worth making an appointment, for example, how much it will cost you.
Most counselors will arrange a meeting to discuss what you want before you commit yourself. Sometimes counselors don't charge for this.
Practical
• how often would I see you? How long does each session last?
• how much do you charge? Is there a concession? is there a Medicare rebate?
• if I miss a session do I have to pay? How much notice do I have to give?
• are you available if I need to talk to someone between sessions? If not, can you suggest anything else for those situations?
The Counselor Herself
• what training have you done?
• what knowledge do you have of my culture?
• are you able to work with an interpreter?
• do you see lesbianism as a problem? Have you worked with lesbians before?
• what do you think mental illness is caused by? Have you worked with women with depression before?
The Process
• what happens in the sessions? Who decides what we talk about?
• what do you think I could get out of counseling?
• have you worked with women in my situation before? Can you give me an example of what you did together?
• as far as you can tell, what kind of change do you think I can expect? How long do you think it will take?
Confidentiality
• how will you ensure my privacy?
• will you discuss me with anyone working here?
• if so, will you use my name?
Access To Information
• what type of information will you keep about me?
• can I read my file at any time?
• What happens to my file when I leave? Can I take it with me?
Making The Decision
• does she seem sensitive to my situation?
• is she interested in answering my questions?
• how do I feel with her? safe? believed? accepted?
• will she tell me what to do?
• is she offering what I am looking for?
You may make the decision easily and feel fine about it. You don't have to commit yourself if you're not sure. You might decide to give it a go, knowing you can leave if you're not happy. You're the only one who knows what feels right for you.
Your rights in a counseling session are the same as those that you can expect in your everyday life. Women's rights are frequently being breached, however, and in a counseling situation where you may feel vulnerable it can be more difficult to know what your rights are.
You can expect that a counselor will respect you enough to:
• believe in you;
• accept whatever you feel;
• allow you to make choices;
• never underestimate your experiences;
• not be judgmental or critical of you;
• have information to help you;
• respect your strength;
• keep you informed be trustworthy.
The following list of rights is by no means exhaustive, but you have the right to:
• be treated with care, consideration and dignity;
• decide when to begin and end counseling or change to another counselor;
• refuse to have students present or to be part of experimental treatment or research;
• have religious, cultural and language needs respected;
• ask for a referral to another counsellor;
• ask questions and receive answers you understand;
• receive confidential counselling in a safe, private environment;
• have your sexuality, gender, race, ethnic origin, class, religion, age, politics, philosophy and other personal beliefs and attitudes respected;
• be counselled in a way that empowers you;
• get information and support from other sources;
• seek other referrals;
• be treated as a unique individual and not, for example, solely as an incest victim or single mother.
THE FOLLOWING IS A LIST OF COUNSELING TOPICS:
• Brief therapy
• Career counseling
• Christian counseling
• Co-counselling
• Counseling psychology
• Counselor
• Consultant (disambiguation)
• Credit counseling
• Crisis hotline
• Disciplinary counseling
• E-mail counseling
• Ecological counseling
• Exit counseling
• Genetic counseling
• Grief counseling
• Grief therapy
• Intervention (counseling)
• Lay community counsellor
• Licensed Professional Counselor
• Marriage counseling
• Mental health counselor
• Narrative therapy
• Navy Counselor
• Nouthetic Counseling
• Online counseling
• Pastoral counseling
• Postvention
• Pre-conception counseling
• Pregnancy options counseling
• Psychiatric and mental health nursing
• Psychiatric and mental health Nurse Practitioner
• Re-evaluation Counseling
• Relationship counseling
• Rehabilitation counseling
• School counselor
• Solution-focused counseling
• Solution focused brief therapy
• Suicide intervention
• Telephone counseling